SOUTH AFRICAN LIFESTYLE MEDICINE ASSOCIATION

Love Don’t Cost a Thing: Deinfluencing Valentine’s Day Through the Lens of Lifestyle Medicine

By Dr Nyasha Gogoma

Picture this: rose petals strewn across the floor, a heart-shaped box of chocolates, a chilled bottle of wine, and a gourmet candlelit dinner – a Valentine’s Day scene straight out of a TikTok. The 14th of February can be a highly polarising day; some people love it, and others love to hate it. Most people, however, can agree that modern Valentine’s Day has become little more than a dreaded annual ritual and a major cash cow for the retail industry.

This year, let’s consider reframing the occasion into a wholesome and healthy celebration of love that doesn’t break the bank through the lens of lifestyle medicine. This evidence-based discipline emphasises six pillars of health: a whole-food, plant-predominant diet, physical activity, restorative sleep, healthy stress management, avoidance of risky substances, and positive social connection.1,2

Shared Nourishment

Without question, food is central to Valentine’s Day, yet typical restaurant menus often prioritize indulgence over nutrition. Emphasizing home-cooked, whole-food, plant-based meals rich in whole grains, legumes, vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, herbs and spices ensures a flavorsome and affordable culinary experience that simultaneously supports long-term health outcomes. Benefits such as decreased risk of cardiovascular disease, improved gut and metabolic health, and greater longevity, to name a few, have been widely documented in literature and are mediated through the high nutrient density, fibre and phytonutrient content and very low levels of saturated fats in plants. 1,2

Recommendation: To make this Valentine’s Day special, plan a cooking date where you and your partner prepare a gourmet plant-based menu together. Set the mood by plating naturally red foods such as beets or strawberries in heart shapes. From vibrant plant-powered pasta to dark chocolate avocado mousse, the act of cooking together nurtures meaningful connection through teamwork and shared sensual memories.

Moving Together

Overwhelming evidence demonstrates that regular aerobic and resistance training is crucial to optimal physical and mental well-being, yet two-thirds of adults do not get enough weekly exercise.1 Physical activity stimulates the release of neurochemicals called exerkines, which support cardiovascular and metabolic health and enhance positive mood by decreasing anxiety and promoting the release of endorphins.1,3

Recommendation: Instead of a sedentary day, consider shared gentle movement by enjoying the beauty of the outdoors through a sunrise hike or nature walk, or by engaging in a tender and grounding yoga session together. Synchrony in physical experiences helps to strengthen emotional bonding.4

Tackling Stress as a Team

Not all stress is created equal. Positive stress can boost productivity and performance, while chronic negative stress can lead to anxiety and depression, interfering with physical and emotional intimacy and overall quality of life.1,2,5 To keep the flame burning bright, try stress-reducing practices that also deepen connection.

Recommendation: Write each other a gratitude letter and read it out loud. Giving thanks is a powerful tool to shift focus onto the positive, thereby making perceived stress more manageable.

Conscious Celebrations

Valentine’s Day beverages often include alcohol, which is deleterious to health when consumed in excess.1,2 This year, why not celebrate consciously by avoiding wine or spirits, and instead opt for creative, health-conscious twists on your favourite drinks?

Recommendation: For a refreshing, bubbly beverage, try infusing sparkling water with ginger, fresh fruit, and mint leaves. If you or your partner are navigating substance reduction, this can be an opportunity to support each other’s goals with empathy and mutual respect.

The Heart of Valentine’s Day

All human beings yearn for social connectedness. Everyone desires life-giving relationships in which they feel seen, heard, supported, and valued.1,6 This year, expand the celebrations beyond your romantic partner by also showing love to others within your community.

Recommendation: Support a shared cause by volunteering at or gifting to a local charity. Helping other people together fosters optimism and increases connectedness in your own relationship.7

Restorative Rituals

Restorative sleep is foundational for cognitive function, emotional regulation, and overall health.1,2 Poor sleep increases anxiety and irritability, while quality sleep renews energy, increases sociability, and consolidates important memories.2,8

Recommendation: To end the day, create a romantic and relaxing atmosphere by using dim lighting, laundry-fresh bedding, and lavender scents to tenderly invite sleep. Reflect on the day’s experiences together, mentioning what you enjoyed most, and allow yourselves to be enveloped in a great night’s sleep.

Conclusion: Love as a Lifestyle

Valentine’s Day can be reimagined through the science of what makes relationships and health flourish. By weaving together clean nourishment, movement, stress resilience, conscious choices, meaningful connection, and restorative rest, the celebration becomes a model of holistic well-being that doesn’t place unnecessary financial strain on loving.9 This year, let your Valentine’s Day be memorable and meaningful, a testament to both heart and health.

References

  1. Clayton JS, Bonnet J. Foundations of Lifestyle Medicine Board Review Manual. 4th ed. American College of Lifestyle Medicine; 2023:2, 122, 196, 248, 288, 304, 322-324.
  2. American College of Lifestyle Medicine. Six Pillars of Lifestyle Medicine – Ambassador Toolkit. Lifestylemedicine.org. Published 2021. https://connect.lifestylemedicine.org/partnerresources/communications/six-pillars
  3. Gibson ME, Barnett A, Sachs R. Moving Towards Health: Exploring the Multifaceted Benefits of Lifestyle Medicine. Missouri medicine. 2025;122(5):382-388. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/41132471/
  4. Major BC, Le Nguyen KD, Lundberg KB, Fredrickson BL. Well-being Correlates of Perceived Positivity Resonance: Evidence from Trait and Episode-Level Assessments. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. 2018;44(12):1631-1647. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167218771324
  5. Lianov L. The Role of Positive Psychology in Lifestyle Medicine. American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine. 2023;18(5):666-670. https://doi.org/10.1177/15598276231184157
  6. Ortiz R, Massar RE, McMacken M, Albert SL. Stronger together than apart: The role of social support in adopting a healthy plant-based eating pattern. Appetite. 2024;198:107341-107341. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2024.10734
  7. Fryburg DA. Kindness as a Stress Reduction–Health Promotion Intervention: A Review of the Psychobiology of Caring. American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine. 2021;16(1):89-100. https://doi.org/10.1177/1559827620988268
  8. Chattu V, Manzar Md, Kumary S, Burman D, Spence D, Pandi-Perumal S. The Global Problem of Insufficient Sleep and Its Serious Public Health Implications. Healthcare. 2018;7(1):1. https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare7010001
  9. Lippman D, Stump M, Veazey E, et al. Foundations of Lifestyle Medicine and its Evolution. Mayo Clinic Proceedings: Innovations, Quality & Outcomes. 2024;8(1):97-111. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.mayocpiqo.2023.11.004